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Fear of Heights. Chapter 1.

This funny story is partly autobiographical. Don’t take it too seriously. It’s humor.

This funny story reflects not only my personal fate but moreover the reality of Dashing Nineties in Russia. In this story I’ve gathered the true events from my personal and my friend’s lives.

The period of Dashing Nineties was a very curious one between the Mikhail Gorbachev’s Perestroika (who gave people freedom but ruined the USSR) and the Vladimir Putin’s current period (who creates the new great empire even if somebody doesn’t like it). Well, listen to the story…

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Russia

The inscription on the pavement: “Hi, Chick!”

It was long-long time ago in the early days of my youth. I was about twenty years old. I used to pose as a tough guy. I launched my own business. I started to practice martial arts. I began living with a woman. I felt absolutely successful. I believed I was truly a tough guy. Feeling great male pride, I used to give rich advices to my less successful friends. Life was lovely.

Sometimes my business didn’t bring me enough money for living. That’s why I began to earn extra as a security guard in a video saloon. The saloon was located at school. Every night they showed porno movies. As a security guard I started making a lot more money than my own successful business brought me. Moreover, now I saved money because I could watch porno movies in the saloon as much as I wanted. It was free for me. Well, I believed I was a very lucky guy.

Soon the video saloon owner launched an additional business. The business idea was brilliant! Maybe because the owner was a fat Armenian and they had always been lucky businessmen. He opened an illegal brothel in a small room, where at the same time he was storing porno videocassettes.

Excited spectators began to pay three times per night. At first a customer paid for porno watching. At second he rented a tiny room with cartons full of porno cassettes instead of a bed. (The owner didn’t spend even on any furniture.) At third a customer paid for some booze. (The owner had illegal alcohol supplies from Armenia) Girls were volunteers from this district. They worked for free for the idea to be cool chicks and marry a rich guy with a passion.

In this way I began to earn extra as a security guard not only in the video saloon but also in the tiny brothel room. To my mind I became extremely rich. Every day I could afford to buy a bar of chocolate and a bottle of lemonade. I used to think to close my own business because my brilliant career as a security guard liked me greatly.

There was another pleasant reason for my good mood. Now I saved a lot more money than I had done before. The reason was I never used to pay for sex and all around it. The volunteer girls used to be very thankful if I had saved them from a boozy bully. Well, as a noble knight, I used to rescue beautiful ladies from a dragon, and they used to give me all they could directly on the cartons. It was very romantic. I was fully happy.

At that time I started saving money for a dildo. The dildo was on sale in the subway. I believed that any beauty from porno movies was dreaming about such a dildo. And I was dreaming about such a beauty. Well, I did all I could to save about $100. I believed in my good fortune…

(to be continued in Chapter 2)

Text and photo by Igor Shiryaev

Dear readers!

This article presents my personal view. I don’t pretend I tell you any kind of absolute objectivity.

I love Russia and I love Russians. My personal slogan is “I love! I know! I tell!”

I’m very sorry for my bad English. First of all I try to tell you about lovely Russia, about the Russian mind and way of thinking. I don’t pretend I speak correct and fluent English.

I can help you in any projects related to Russia in the fields of deep non-standard tourism and independent journalism. Also you can buy some my texts and photos. Contact me by e-mail: editor@diff-view.com if you want. Welcome to real Russia!

Yours sincerely
Igor Shiryaev

The Internet mass media Different View. 14.05.2014